What is Wellbeing?
Wellbeing has been defined by the World Health Organization (WHO) as “referring to a positive rather than neutral state, framing health as a positive aspiration.” Wellbeing includes a positive state of health and attitude regarding a person’s mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual circumstances. More than just being “OK” —a state of wellbeing means an individual’s disposition and interaction is inspired and predisposed to feeling positive about their experiences.
For some people “wellbeing” is about weight loss or their financial status. Or, some think wellbeing is obtained with essential oils and aromatherapy—these can help, but wellbeing comes from a much deeper source.
How Trauma Effects Wellbeing
Unresolved, unhealed, trauma creates “emotional inflammation” which acts like physiological inflammation does—increased, pervasive levels wreck havoc on one’s overall health—especially mental and emotional health. Being able to mitigate and manage stress, anxiety, fear, and conflict without adversely reacting and making matters worse is a skill that needs to be learned—especially for those who have been traumatized and suffer PTSD type symptoms.
Many people live with ongoing, pervasive stress due to the symptoms of unresolved emotional trauma. Being a survivor of abuse or assault, or of devastation from natural disasters, and/or the loss of close family members, can add to “normal” stress levels and make symptoms worse.
Survivors of trauma can frequently and unexpectedly spiral up and down emotionally, feel persistent anxiety, brain fog “—can’t think straight,” and often have symptoms like insomnia, digestion issues, low energy, have intrusive thoughts and moods, and can be triggered to have overblown reactions to things that happen. The process is sometimes referred to as “going down the rabbit hole” (an Alice in Wonderland metaphor) where the survivor feels like their world has been “turned upside down.”
How is wellbeing achieved?
To begin with, we need to prevent ourselves from going down the rabbit hole into depression, anxiety attacks, or over-reactions which sabotage and derail otherwise manageable challenges or conflicts. Stress management by releasing emotional pressure (emotional inflammation) is a large part of the answer. Meditation, yoga, light exercise, or even a “power nap” can help to release pent up stress and prevent emotional “leakage” or fragmenting (“falling apart”).
Another big key to success is mindfulness. Being mindful of what is happening and what someone feels in the moment will provide “red flag” warnings of impending trigger reactions or falling into drama roles (see Karpman “Drama Triangle”). Consciously being able to see where we get triggered and why will help us be ready and know what to do, and how to respond, when confronted by a trigger experience.
When feeling stressed, insecure, or fearful about something; emotional, mental, and physical tension is added to our state of wellbeing which becomes more weighed down the more tension we carry. Releasing tension in all its forms is important to a positive state of wellbeing. Find a way that works best for you that makes it easy to release tension. For some people a massage works the best, others like to meditate or exercise to release tension. The important thing is that you do something about it and not put it off thinking that it will go away. Stress and tension are accumulative and don’t dissipate with time unless they are dealt with, processed and released.
Get off the Drama Triangle
A major influence of our state of wellbeing is how much drama is present in our life. Being able to avoid or mitigate drama when it happens is an essential skill to maintain a positive state of wellbeing. Recognizing that you are in a ‘drama role’ in whatever circumstance or conflict you are dealing with is a critical 1st step to ending the drama. After that, knowing what to do to get yourself into a positive, creative state of mind will flip-the-script and help create positive outcomes. Learn about the three major drama roles (Persecutor, Rescuer, Victim; Karpman “Drama Triangle”) and understand how they relate to you and your behavior that enables each role. Then, develop warning signals which you can recognize that awaken your awareness to when a drama interaction is happening, or about to happen, and prompt you into recovery or mitigation mode to avoid getting sucked into a drama conflict or interactions that reinforce a negative state of wellbeing.
Climb the Ladder of Wellbeing
Whenever someone has experienced emotional or physical trauma, those experiences leave a scar, or imprint, on the state of wellbeing, predisposing someone to being triggered and reacting to circumstances or interactions that otherwise could have been handled without drama or negative outcomes. People with unresolved, unhealed, trauma have emotional open-wounds which can be hypersensitive and respond reflexively, unconsciously.
With some trauma survivors, their moods are prompted and controlled by external influences, times of day, or their biological rhythms which they have no control over. To reach a positive state of wellbeing can be a difficult goal for trauma survivors. A major aspect of being able to climb up out of dark emotions and depressive states of mind is learning how to manage emotions and consciously choose one’s feelings instead of being at their mercy.
To climb the ladder of wellbeing, feel upwards to an emotional state or concept that you can relate to that feels better than where you are at. From depression feel for just being sad, or from fearful try for confused, etc. Don’t try to reach so far up the ladder that it’s not authentic for you, just take baby-steps and go only as high as you feel you authentically can.
Ground yourself in your essential nature
Another important area for trauma survivors to consider is how “alone” they feel. Feeling isolated, unloved, unappreciated, unwanted, ignored, are all common negative states for people who carry high levels of emotional inflammation due to trauma. Sometimes, it can feel as though no one cares and no one understands—and that adds to feelings of isolation and alienation. It may be true that you are alone without friends or family who understand or support you emotionally—but you can still get the support you need.
Being alone doesn’t mean you can’t feel connected to a great source of support and empathy within yourself, your “Higher Self,” which is available immediately by feeling into your essential nature—your core essence. Learning to ‘tune-into’ your core essence, you will find a pervasive sense of peace and solace, that feels like a deep well of emotional nourishment.
Granted, in the moment when you are confronted by being triggered or worried or fearful it can be hard to tune in and find this soothing place within you. There are other ways to handle emotional triggers or states of depression or fear as they are happening. The time for using this remedy of tuning into your essential nature is when you’re not triggered or in the throes of depression or fear. Practice meditating on what your essential nature feels like (calm, safe, serene, capable, confident, connected) and try to sustain the feeling-tone vibrational resonance as long as you can (15 min. or more). This will condition you and attune your mind’s set-point to be balanced and grounded, and feeling capable of handling any triggers or conflicts should they show up.
Ladder of Wellbeing webinar
I’ve put together 4 practical and effective coping strategies that equip you to stay present and grounded through an emotional trigger or acute challenge that threatens to throw you off your mental/emotional balance, derail or sabotage interactions or relationships, and fragment you emotionally. I share detailed steps that you enact whenever you get triggered or find yourself in the throes of depression, insecurity, or fear, and when your mood is being pushed around—reacting to impulsive thoughts from unresolved trauma wounds. For each of the categories mentioned above, I share a specific method that addresses and handles any triggers or negative states that you might find yourself feeling.
We will cover the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual/energetic aspects of mitigating negative states and trigger reactions with step by step guidance and further explanation.
This webinar offers information and guidance on how to mitigate the onset of triggered emotions and how to avoid sabotaging your good efforts to heal and move forward. It shows you how to climb the Ladder of Wellbeing to a happier and more fulfilling life. Fill out the form below to be notified when the webinar will be held:
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Join me for an informative webinar discussing strategies and methods to live a life that’s not sabotaged by emotional wounds or unhealed trauma. Learn how to be empowered to handle emotional “triggers” keep your emotional/mental equilibrium, and live life more fully—climbing the Ladder of Wellbeing.
I’ll be sharing my #1 technique to mitigate triggers that send you into overwhelm and breakdown. AND, I’ll be sharing important information that many Coaches/Counselors don’t tell their clients that could greatly improve their progress and ability to cope with their condition.
Sunyata is a gifted healer, life coach and spiritual mentor. With his guidance I have been able to work through past sexual and emotional trauma that was keeping me from… Read more “He’s a kind and gentle soul who can honor your journey”